I’m My Own Valentine

Today is Valentine’s Day. A day all about love. Specifically, the love you have for others. Loving others is great. I love my husband. I love my family. I love my friends. But who is missing from the love fest? Me. That’s right. This post is dedicated to how and why try to love myself more.

So why am I writing about loving myself? Because it took me a really long time to get to this point. Society places a huge amount of attention on our relationships with others, especially romantic relationships and I feel like not enough importance is placed on loving ourselves. I believe that I am a better wife, friend, sister and person because I love myself. The love I am talking about can be hard to cultivate. I am my own worst critic. The things that I say to myself are worse than anything that I have ever said to anyone else (with a few exceptions).

So why do I do it? Because it’s easy and since I’ve told myself so many terrible things for so long, it’s hard to stop. And let me clear that I still do have a hard time loving myself every day. It’s not all lollypops and unicorns in my head everyday. I am still challenged to be even remotely kind to myself sometimes even though I consider myself pretty kind to others. So how I have evolved in loving myself? By appreciating what I do love about myself and recognizing when I do engage in the disgusting and negative self-talk to acknowledge that what I’m telling myself is harmful and pushing it out of my head. When the negativity tries to ever so cleverly return, I do the same thing over and over again. For something going on in my own head it sure is hard to control.

Another method I like is to pick a song that has a positive message and makes me happy/confident/peppy. It’s kind of like drowning out the negative voices with a song. Singing along is even better because singing and being critical of myself is really hard to do.

I think that on today and everyday we should give ourselves some love because even when we are fortunate enough to have someone else say it, it can mean even more when we say it to ourselves.

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